Love is a word that in our culture has almost lost its meaning now. Very interesting story about the Rabbi Deshler who came across a young man who was clearly enjoying the dish of fish that he was eating, and
He said to the young man,''Why are you eating the fish?
"Because I love fish." Young man said,
He said''Oh you love fish, that's why you took it out of the water and killed it.''
He said again,''Don't tell me you love the fish, you love yourself. And because the fish tastes good to you, therefore you took it out of the water, and killed it, and boiled it.''
He said to the young man,''Why are you eating the fish?
"Because I love fish." Young man said,
He said''Oh you love fish, that's why you took it out of the water and killed it.''
He said again,''Don't tell me you love the fish, you love yourself. And because the fish tastes good to you, therefore you took it out of the water, and killed it, and boiled it.''
...
So much of what is love is fish love. And so, young couple falls in love, young man and young woman fall in love, what does that mean? That means that he saw in this woman someone who he felt could provide him with all his physical emotional needs, and she thought in this man somebody she feels that she can write ''that was love'', but each one was looking out for their own needs. It's not love for the other, the other person becomes a vehicle for my gratification. Too much of what is called love is fish love. Love is not what I'm gonna get but what I'm gonna give. We had an ethicist 'Rabbi Deshler' who said that people make serious mistake in thinking that you give to those whom you love. And the real answer is you love those to whom you give. And his point is, if I give something to you, I've invested myself in you. And since self-love is given, everybody loves themselves, now that part of me has become in you, there's part of me in you that I love. So true love is a love of giving, not a love of receiving.
So much of what is love is fish love. And so, young couple falls in love, young man and young woman fall in love, what does that mean? That means that he saw in this woman someone who he felt could provide him with all his physical emotional needs, and she thought in this man somebody she feels that she can write ''that was love'', but each one was looking out for their own needs. It's not love for the other, the other person becomes a vehicle for my gratification. Too much of what is called love is fish love. Love is not what I'm gonna get but what I'm gonna give. We had an ethicist 'Rabbi Deshler' who said that people make serious mistake in thinking that you give to those whom you love. And the real answer is you love those to whom you give. And his point is, if I give something to you, I've invested myself in you. And since self-love is given, everybody loves themselves, now that part of me has become in you, there's part of me in you that I love. So true love is a love of giving, not a love of receiving.
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